I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
