Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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