I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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