Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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