i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
