I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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