who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
