If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
