yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize