Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
