Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
