I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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