I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
