You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
