Little spoons don't ask big questions
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
