I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
