I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize