when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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