i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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