yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
