...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
We got so high we made milksteak
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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