This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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