Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Randomize
