is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
