Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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