I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Randomize
