So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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