I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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