Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
