people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
