would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
