I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Can i not drive my cunt home
P.S. I can't hear my feet
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
