I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
she peed on how many people?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
