garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
