is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Are my feet made of real feet?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
