he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
