I heard we made out
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
