i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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