I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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