he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
