Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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