So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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