Where are you?
In a non slutty way
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
