3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
How's work?
Spinning.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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