Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
