fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
