Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
