I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Blood and glitter go together right?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
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