I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
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