in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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