would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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