Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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