Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize